Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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