Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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