so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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