I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We need a shit load of segways right now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
