PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
