she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
