So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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