hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My life is pants optional.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
