Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
