I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
