My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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