Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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