just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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