Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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