Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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