All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
