I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
