You really coming over, don't trick.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
