Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
