i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize