just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
