I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
