I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
