I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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