i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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