he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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