piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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