i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize