she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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