Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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