I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
