Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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