and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
