how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
