oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
