how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
