Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
