we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
