I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
