apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
