I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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