just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
