see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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