I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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