i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
