I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
