I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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