Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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