Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
