Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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