So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
