omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Please don't give away my fajitas
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
