Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do herpes really smell.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
