Say something about gay babies.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize