I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
