I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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