I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
