Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
