good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
