She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
