You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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