Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
