i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
