Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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