The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
