I hate your face
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
