You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
