i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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